February 4, 2020

Like a river. Are You Flowing?!

Are you flowing ?

"Every time you learn something, you change. Old You dies and New You is born."
"The more you die, the more you live. Births and deaths are fractal."- Naval Ravikanth


Photo by Eric Smart from Pexels
People change all the time. It is just that they forget to inform you.
Have you heard of saying ' you can never step into the same river twice'?It means that water that flows is never the same even though the river bears the same name.

Everything changes. your body cells are completely renewed after every 7 years . This means you have a new body in every 7 years. Everything changes.

Look how many times you changed your opinions on big ideas in the last 5 years

Are you flowing ?

Are you embarrassed by your few years old social media posts?

Have you ever been accused of changing your stance by your close friends?

If yes and you can back it up with sound reasoning . congrats. you are flowing!

If no and you take pride of sticking to whatever you were convinced,I have a bad news for you. You are stagnated .

Soon a fowl smell will emerge and others will sense first. It is not a nice feeling when you realize it!
Find out a way to get unstuck!!😊

January 16, 2020

Note to self - Age gracefully


  1. Start moving towards impersonal goals. Make your interests gradually wider and more impersonal, until bit by bit the walls of the ego recede, and your life becomes increasingly merged in the universal life ( from Bertrand Russel)
  2. Watch your Ego - Ego is ok but wrap it up with outcomes than yourself. Learn to change decisions and accept directions from others.
  3. Enrich your life with literature(reading) , Music and art .
  4. Increase your tribe - Re-estabish your connections with old friends .Make new friends and develop a support system which is independent of your family . Because your family is soon going to be busy.
  5. Collect experiences and never miss any chance to get new experiences and live intentionally everyday.
  6. Listening : Move Speak- to- listen Ratio towards 1:2. see if you can improve further once you attained this.
  7. Think about death -Think deeply about death once in a while .

Things learned in last 10 years - Justin Kan

It’s been a wild ten years for me. Here’s a bunch of things I’ve learned in the last decade:

  1. Things that seem disastrous at the time can happen for a reason.
  2. Some of my most important learnings came from failures that I thought were the end of the world in the moment. 
  3. The most important success factor in your work is who you choose to work with.-This has been more important to my success than having the right idea, the right resources, or anything else. Having the right people around you is the difference between success and failure. 
  4. No matter where you are at, you are probably giving up too early. Big things take time to succeed at. 
  5. No one does everything well. You are not an exception.
  6. Focus on your one superpower and be excellent at that, and the universe will take care of the rest. 
  7. There is an endless treadmill of goals.-10 yrs ago we had a small startup called Justin.tv. I thought if I could just make a little $ I’d be set. Thus followed a decade of trying to raise more money, achieve skyrocketing valuations, start bigger cos..it never ends 
  8. Achievement of goals won’t deliver lasting happiness.-After hitting many of the goals I set for myself, some beyond the wildest dreams I had 10 years ago, the satisfaction never lasted. It was there in the beginning, but never created a permanent state change. 
  9. You can be anxious no matter what your situation is.-I thought my anxiety and fear was situational, but it turns out I’d just map the same level of fears on to whatever difficult experiences I was going through at any given time. 
  10. There is no antidote to your fears.-I tried to escape from my fear lots of ways (alcohol, travel, tv). None of those methods delivered anything other than temporary distraction. I learned instead that meditation is key to sitting with your fear and accepting it. 
  11. I don’t need to attract people to me to connect.-All my life I longed to connect meaningfully to others, but felt I didn’t know how. Instead I tried to be successful to attract other people to me. But that’s not necessary: I‘ve learned to start with vulnerability and curiosity 
  12. Lasting happiness comes from connection to other people, gratitude, and the release of self-tortured striving.


Nothing else. 

January 6, 2020

Resonating with the Author

 How to get more out of a book - Carver Mead's great metaphor 


In physics , there is a theory that states atoms exchange energy by resonating with each other.Before this energy exchange to happen ,the two atoms must be phase-matched, oscillating in almost perfect synchrony with each other.

If we extend this to reading before the material can resonate, before energy can be exchanged between the author and reader, the reader must already have available a mode of vibration at the author's frequency. This doesn't mean that the reader is already thinking the author's thought; it means the reader is capable of thinking it.

The author and reader must share a close-enough worldview, viewpoint, vocabulary, set of mental models, sense of aesthetics, and set of goals. For any particular concept in the material, if not enough of these are sufficiently matched, no resonance will occur and no energy will be exchanged.

Perhaps, as a reader, one way to get more out of more material is to collect and cultivate a diverse set of resonators, to increase the probability of a phase-match.

Perhaps this explains why only certain books click for us

Inspired from a reading tip on http://worrydream.com/

November 14, 2019

Book summary - Non Violent CommunicationA Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides)


Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides)

By Marshall B. Rosenberg and Deepak Chopra

Benefits of NVC

Non Violent communication (NVC) helps us re-frame how we express ourselves . Instead of habitual and automatic reactions, our responses will become conscious and aware of what we perceive , feel and want. We will express ourselves honestly , clearly while paying others respectful and emphatic attention.

Process of NVC

What we are observing, feeling, and needing, and what we are requesting to enrich our lives
Four Components of NVC
  1. Observations
  2. Feelings
  3. Needs and
  4. Requests
First we approach the situation and frame our understanding of the four components of NVC from our perspective . The other part of of communication is to get these four component details from others.We connect with them by first sensing what they are observing, feeling, and needing; then we discover what would enrich their lives by receiving the fourth piece—their request.we establish a flow of communication, back and forth, until compassion manifests naturally.

Communications that block Compassion -

  • Moralistic judgments that imply wrongness or badness on the part of those who don’t act in harmony with our values.
  • Comparisons, which can block compassion both for others and for ourselves.
  • Denying Responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings, and actions.we attribute their cause to factors outside ourselves:
    • Vague, impersonal forces—“I cleaned my room because I had to.”
    • Our condition, diagnosis, or personal or psychological history—“I drink because I am an alcoholic.” 
    • The actions of others—“I hit my child because he ran into the street.”
    • The dictates of authority—“I lied to the client because the boss told me to.”
    • Group pressure—“I started smoking because all my friends did.” Institutional policies, rules, and regulations—“I have to suspend you for this infraction because it’s the school policy.” 
    • Gender roles, social roles, or age roles—”I hate going to work, but I do it because I am a husband and a father.”
  • Communicating our desires in the form of demands

Observing without evaluating -

  • Maintain separation between observation and Evaluation
  • Do not engage in static generalizations; instead, evaluations are to be based on observations specific to time and context.

Identifying and Expressing Feelings -

  • By developing a vocabulary of feelings that allows us to clearly and specifically name or identify our emotions, we can connect more easily with one another.
  • Distinguish thoughts from feelings
Taking Responsibility of our feelings (needs)
  • Connect your feeling with your need: “I feel … because I need …”
  • By definition -A need doesn’t refer to a specific action
  • If we really want to be of assistance to others, the first thing to learn is to translate any message into an expression of a need.
  • Our feelings result from how we choose to receive what others say and do, as well as from our particular needs and expectations in that moment.
  • When developing emotional responsibility, most of us experience three stages:
    1. “Emotional slavery”—believing ourselves responsible for the feelings of others,
    2. “The obnoxious stage”—in which we refuse to admit to caring what anyone else feels or needs, and
    3. “emotional liberation”—in which we accept full responsibility for our own feelings but not the feelings of others, while being aware that we can never meet our own needs at the expense of others.
Requesting That Which Would Enrich Life
  • Make requests in clear, positive, concrete action language reveals what we really want
  • Requests may sound like demands when unaccompanied by the speaker’s feelings and needs.
  • It is a demand if the speaker -
    • then criticizes or judges
    • then lays down a guilt trap
  • It’s a request if the speaker then shows empathy toward the other person’s needs.

Empathy -

  • Is respectful understanding of what others are experiencing.
  • Emptying our mind and listening with our whole being
  • Empathy with others occurs only when we have successfully shed all preconceived ideas and judgments about them.
  • The key ingredient of empathy is presence: we are wholly present with the other party and what they are experiencing. This quality of presence distinguishes empathy from either mental understanding or sympathy.
  • common behaviors that prevent us from being sufficiently present
    • Advising: “I think you should … ” “How come you didn’t … ?”
    • One-upping: “That’s nothing; wait’ll you hear what happened to me.”
    • Educating: “This could turn into a very positive experience for you if you just … ”
    • Consoling: “It wasn’t your fault; you did the best you could.”
    • Story-telling: “That reminds me of the time … ”
    • Shutting down: “Cheer up. Don’t feel so bad.”
    • Sympathizing: “Oh, you poor thing … ”
    • Interrogating: “When did this begin?”
    • Explaining: “I would have called but … ”
    • Correcting: “That’s not how it happened.”
  • No matter what others say, we only hear what they are (1) observing, (2) feeling, (3) needing, and (4) requesting.
  • After we focus our attention and hear , we may wish to reflect back by paraphrasing what we have understood.
  • Paraphrase only when it contributes to greater compassion and understanding.
  • Behind intimidating messages are merely people appealing to us to meet their needs
  • We know a speaker has received adequate empathy when (1) we sense a release of tension, or (2) the flow of words comes to a halt.
  • We need empathy to give empathy. When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (1) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy; (2) scream nonviolently; or (3) take time out.
  • It’s harder to empathize with those who appear to possess more power, status, or resources and with those are close to us
  • Rather than put your “but” in the face of an angry person, empathize.
  • It may be difficult to empathize with those who are closest to us.

The Power of Empathy-

Self hatred

 If the way we evaluate ourselves leads us to feel shame, and we consequently change our behavior, we are allowing our growing and learning to be guided by self-hatred.
This can be replaced with compassion is in our moment-to-moment evaluation of ourselves.When we are doing something that is not enriching life, is to evaluate ourselves in a way that inspires change both (1) in the direction of where we would like to go, and (2) out of respect and compassion for ourselves, rather than out of self-hatred, guilt or shame.

Self-judgments-

If we find ourselves reacting reproachfully to something we did (“Look, you just messed up again!”), we can quickly stop and ask ourselves, “What unmet need of mine is being expressed through this moralistic judgment?” When we do connect to the need—and there may be several layers of needs—we will notice a remarkable shift in our bodies. Whether it’s sadness, frustration, disappointment, fear, grief, or some other feeling, we have been endowed by nature with these feelings for a purpose: they mobilize us to pursue and fulfill what we need or value.

NVC Mourning

It is the process of fully connecting with the unmet needs and the feelings that are generated when we have been less than perfect. When our consciousness is focused on what we need, we are naturally stimulated toward creative possibilities for how to get that need met.An important aspect of self-compassion is to be able to empathically hold both parts of ourselves—the self that regrets a past action and the self that took the action in the first place.

NVC self-forgiveness:

Connecting with the need we were trying to meet when we took the action that we now regret. In that compassionate place, I am able to hold both needs: in one hand, to respond in a caring way to others’ needs, and in the other, to be aware of and take better care of my own needs.
When we make mistakes, instead of getting caught up in moralistic self-judgments, we can use the process of NVC mourning and self-forgiveness to show us where we can grow. By assessing our behaviors in terms of our own unmet needs, the impetus for change comes out of the genuine desire to contribute to our own and others’ well-being. We also cultivate self-compassion by consciously choosing in daily life to act only in service to our own needs and values .If we review the joyless acts to which we currently subject ourselves and make the translation from “have to” to “choose to,” we will discover more play and integrity in our lives.

Expressing Anger Fully -

  • The first step is to divorce the other person from any responsibility for our anger.
  • The cause of anger lies in our thinking—in thoughts of blame and judgment.
  • When we judge others, we contribute to violence.
  • At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.
  • Consciously replace the phrase “I am angry because they … ” with “I am angry because I am needing …
  • Steps to expressing anger: 1. Stop. Breathe. 2. Identify our judgmental thoughts. 3. Connect with our needs. 4. Express our feelings and unmet needs.Sometimes, in between steps 3 and 4, we may choose to empathize with the other person so that he or she will be better able to hear us when we express ourselves in step 4.
  • As we have seen, our anger comes from judgments, labels, and thoughts of blame, of what people “should” do and what they “deserve.”
    • List the judgments that float most frequently in your head by using the cue, “I don’t like people who are …
    • Collect all such negative judgments in your head and then ask yourself, “When I make that judgment of a person, what am I needing and not getting?” 
    • In this way, you train yourself to frame your thinking in terms of unmet needs rather than in terms of judgments of other people.
    • Practice translating each judgment into an unmet need. Take your time.
    • To practice NVC, we need to proceed slowly, think carefully before we speak, and often just take a deep breath and not speak at all. Learning the process and applying it both take time.

NVC Conflict Resolution Steps—A Quick Overview

There are five steps in this process.
  • First, we express our own needs.
  • Second, we search for the real needs of the other person, no matter how they are expressing themselves.
  • Third, we verify that we both accurately recognize the other person’s needs, and if not, continue to seek the need behind their words.
  • Fourth, we provide as much empathy as is required for us to mutually hear each other’s needs accurately
  • And fifth, having clarified both parties’ needs in the situation, we propose strategies for resolving the conflict, framing them in positive action language.

Expressing Appreciations

Gratitude will act as an elixir that will gradually dissolve the hard shell of your ego—your need to possess and control—and transform you into a generous being. The sense of gratitude produces true spiritual alchemy, makes us magnanimous—large souled.
Receive appreciation without feelings of superiority or false humility.

Expressing appreciation-

We state (1) the action that has contributed to our well-being, (2) the particular need of ours that has been fulfilled, and (3) the feelings of pleasure engendered as a result.


Excellent book. My rating -🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

October 7, 2019

Book Summary :Awareness: Conversations with the Masters

Awareness: Conversations with the Masters-Anthony de Mello SJ and J. Francis Stroud


Like all great books, it was difficult to summarize this book , There is so much of  great stuff in this single book. This is a result of some great effort .  My Personal favorite. I strongly recommend to read.

Wake up

  • First understand you don't want to wake up . Once you understand this, next step is to question the entire belief system of yours .
  • Don't fight or renounce any , you only make the desire stronger . Instead understand the desire and it will automatically vanish.
  • You only trust the judgement of the person. you never trust anyone . You will be disappointed with the person only when your judgement of the person fails.
  • Truth is never expressed in words . Truth is sighted suddenly ,as a result of certain attitude.
  • Three things are difficult in this world - Returning love for hate , Including the excluded and admitting that you are wrong.

Learning

  • In Spirituality - Learning is all about unlearning and listening
  • The one thing you need most of all is the readiness to learn something new.
  • The first reaction is one of fear. It’s not that we fear the unknown. You cannot fear something that you do not know. Nobody is afraid of the unknown. What you really fear is the loss of the known. That’s what you fear.
  • Things don't need to be fixed . Drop your illusions.
  • As life of awareness settles on your darkness , Whatever evil will disappear and whatever good will be fostered. This will have to be experienced for yourself.

Selfishness

  • Drop your false ideas . See through people - Selfishness in our deepest and first interest. Everyone is expected to be selfish either in crude or refined way.
  • Three kinds of Selfishness
    • 1.pleasure of pleasing oneself
    • 2.give oneself pleasure by pleasing others
    • 3.One does something good so that one will not get bad feeling.

Self observation -

    "I" observing "me". "I" is not the body which is ever changing . The Labels attached to "I" is me also changes with time . But "I" the observer is never changes. No matter what labels you can think of , you can only attach them to "me". "I" is none of these. So when you step out of yourself and observe "me", you no longer "I" with "me" . Suffering exists in "me". So when you identify "I" with "me", the suffering begins.
       Think of any suffering , first you can pick a desire under that suffering. Else you would't be suffering . What is that desire? Second, it isn’t simply a desire; there’s an identification there. You have somehow said to yourself,“The well-being of ‘I,’ almost the existence of ‘I,’ is tied up with this desire.” All suffering is caused by my identifying myself with something, whether that something is within me or outside of me.
     What kills the sensitivity is what many people would call the conditioned self: when you so identify with “me” that there’s too much of “me” in it for you to see things objectively, with detachment.

Friendship-

     Enjoy your company immensely, but I do not cling. What I really enjoy is not you; it’s something that’s greater than both you and me. When I meet someone else, it plays another melody, which is also very delightful. And when I’m alone, it continues to play.

Self Observation

    Come home to yourself . When you talk to someone, are you aware of it or are you simply identifying with it? When you got angry with somebody, were you aware that you were angry or were you simply identifying with your anger? Later, when you had the time, did you study your experience and attempt to understand it? Where did it come from? What brought it on? I don’t know of any other way to awareness. You only change what you understand. What you do not understand and are not aware of, you repress. You don’t change. But when you understand it, it changes.
What you are aware of you are in control of; what you are not aware of is in control of you.

Happiness is a natural state

  • Zen masters say, “Don’t seek the truth; just drop your opinions.”
  • Uninterrupted happiness is uncaused. True happiness is uncaused. You cannot make me happy. You are not my happiness. You say to the awakened person, “Why are you happy?” and the awakened person replies, “Why not?
  • 4 - step process
    • The first thing you need is awareness of your negative feelings.
    • The second step (this is a four-step program) is to understand that the feeling is in you, not in reality. Negative feelings are in you, not in reality. So stop trying to change reality.
    • The third step: Never identify with that feeling.
    • The fourth step: How do you change things? How do you change yourselves? There are many things you must understand here, or rather, just one thing that can be expressed in many ways. When you change, everything changes
  • Stop trying to push yourself somewhere. Then someday you will understand that simply by awareness you have already attained what you were pushing yourself toward. you need understanding, insight, awareness—you don’t need pushing. You don’t need effort.
  • The highest knowledge of God is to know God as unknowable.
  • Pleasant experiences make life delightful, but they don’t lead to growth in themselves.Negative feelings, every negative feeling is useful for awareness, for understanding.
  • Every time you are unhappy, you have added something to reality.
  • “The one who would be constant in happiness must frequently change.”-Confucius 
  • Understand another illusion, too, that happiness is not the same as excitement, it’s not the same as thrills.
  • We have a natural urge to be free, a natural urge to love, but not to be loved.

Desire

Don’t seek to fulfill desire so much as to understand desire. And don’t just renounce the objects of your desire, understand them; See them for what they are really worth. Because if you just suppress your desire, and you attempt to renounce the object of your desire, you are likely to be tied to it. Whereas if you look at it and see it for what it is really worth, if you understand how you are preparing the grounds for misery and disappointment and depression, your desire will then be transformed into what I call a preference. When you go through life with preferences but don’t let your happiness depend on any one of them, then you’re awake.

Self Concepts 

  • So your concept points, but it is never entirely accurate; it misses uniqueness, concreteness. The concept is universal.Concept is generalization but always misses or omits something extremely important, something precious that is only found in reality, which is concrete uniqueness.
  • When I call a person a woman, that’s true; but there are lots of things in that person that don’t fit into the concept “woman.” She is always this particular, concrete, unique woman, who can only be experienced, not conceptualized. The concrete person I’ve got to see for myself, to experience for myself, to intuit for myself. The individual can be intuited but cannot be conceptualized.
  • Second quality of a concept is that it is static whereas reality is in flux. We use the same name for Niagara but water that constitutes it is always different .
  • Reality is whole, but words and concepts fragment reality.

What is love ?

     What is love? Love is sensitivity, love is consciousness. An attachment destroys your capacity to love.What is a loving heart? A loving heart is sensitive to the whole of life, to all persons; a loving heart doesn’t harden itself to any person or thing. But the moment you become attached in my sense of the word, then you’re blocking out many other things.

      But to come to the land of love, you must pass through the pains of death, for to love persons means to die to the need for persons, and to be utterly alone. How would you ever get there? By a ceaseless awareness, by the infinite patience and compassion . By developing a taste for the good things in life to counter the craving for your drug. What good things? The love of work which you enjoy doing for the love of itself; the love of laughter and intimacy with people to whom you do not cling and on whom you do not depend emotionally but whose company you enjoy.
      Happiness is not something you acquire; love is not something you produce; love is not something that you have; love is something that has you. You do not have the wind, the stars, and the rain. You don’t possess these things; you surrender to them. And surrender occurs when you are aware of your illusions, when you are aware of your addictions, when you are aware of your desires and fears.

How to cope up with anger

     If you are angry, there’s something wrong with you. So you’d better cope with your anger. Stay with it and cope with it. It’s not mine. Whether there’s something wrong with me or not, I’ll examine that independently of your anger. I’m not going to be influenced by your anger. I don’t feel the slightest desire to rescue you anymore, and I refuse to feel guilty.” I’m not going to hate myself for anything I’ve done. That’s what guilt is. I’m not going to give myself a bad feeling and whip myself for anything I have done, either right or wrong. I’m ready to analyze it, to watch it, and say, “Well, if I did wrong, it was in unawareness.” Nobody does wrong in awareness.

     Your attitude should be: “I want to be aware, I want to be in touch with whatever is and let whatever happens happen; if I’m awake, fine, and if I’m asleep, fine.

Self change 


  •  First, insight. Not effort, not cultivating habits, not having an ideal. Ideals do a lot of damage. The whole time you’re focusing on what should be instead of focusing on what is.
  • Slow down and taste and smell and hear, and let your senses come alive. If you want a royal road to mysticism, sit down quietly and listen to all the sounds around you. You do not focus on any one sound; you try to hear them all. Oh, you’ll see the miracles that happen to you when your senses come unclogged. That is extremely important for the process of change.
  • You don’t have to go to the desert; you’re right in the middle of people; you’re enjoying them immensely. But they no longer have the power to make you happy or miserable. That’s what aloneness means. In this solitude your dependence dies. The capacity to love is born. One no longer sees others as means of satisfying one’s addiction.

Wisdom


  • Wisdom occurs when you drop barriers you have erected through your concepts and conditioning.
  • Wisdom is not something acquired; wisdom is not experience; wisdom is not applying yesterday’s illusions to today’s problems. As Wisdom is to be sensitive to this situation, to this person, uninfluenced by any carryover from the past, without residue from the experience of the past. This is quite unlike what most people are accustomed to thinking.
  • When you get a feel for it you change. When you know it in your head, you don’t.
  • The root of evil is within you. As you begin to understand this, you stop making demands on yourself, you stop having expectations of yourself, you stop pushing yourself and you understand.

My Rating  -🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

October 3, 2019

How are you feeling now - Emotionally aware

How are you feeling now?

 Ask this question to your kids often.

Ask when she/he is happy after a good grade.

Ask when she is a bit down when her close friend is leaving the school.

Ask when she looks bored; irritated ; elated ; upset; or agitated.

But don't start with your sermon after that.Just leave it there with a gentle inquiry.

Idea is to make her aware of her emotions.

By being emotionally aware , she could handle her communications, interpersonal relationships and profession lot better later on in her life .

Else she is going to learn this skill in a hard way anyway.

Even after learning all the skills in this world to survive, she will find this the missing piece in her life puzzle for a happy life.

We don't teach our kids this stuff at home or at school!Even we where not taught!

So ask this is question - How are you feeling now ?

She may answer with her judgments instead of naming the feeling,like ' I feel insulted' . Well, this is judgement. This is not same as 'I feel sad'. Point out the difference and ask her stick to name her feeling.

She may struggle at first. So help her with the vocabulary of feelings. Let her start understanding the subtle differences of those words and start using them .

Rollo May puts clearly as  “the mature person becomes able to differentiate feelings into as many nuances, strong and passionate experiences, or delicate and sensitive ones as in the different passages of music in a symphony.” For many of us, however, our feelings are, as May would describe it, “limited like notes in a bugle call.”

If you yourself need to educate on this, Please go ahead and start. Teaching others is the best way to learn.

you will see how your personal and professional world transform, how your communication improves . This awareness will lead to you empathy and then compassion  which are among the rarest now a days.

So Ask this question - how are you feeling now? 

September 30, 2019

Book Summary - Courage to be disliked


The Courage To Be Disliked: How to free yourself, change your life and achieve real happiness

Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

Synopsis-

We are living in a subject world. All our problems are interpersonal problems. The moment you change ,the world changes. We cannot alter objective facts. But subjective interpretations can be altered as much as one likes. Our unhappiness cannot be blamed for our past and present experiences. The problem is not in our ability to be happy. But it is the lack of courage to change lifestyle - the way one give meaning to the world and himself. Self reliance, cooperation with others and contributions to others are three overarching objectives of our behavior. We can achieve these through life tasks(work, friendship & love). Separation of tasks is gateway to interpersonal relationships. Cultivate horizontal relationships through them.

All problems are interpersonal problems -

  • Loneliness is having other people and society and community around you and feeling the sense of being excluded by them. To feel lonely , we need other people. we are social individuals.
  • The feeling of inferiority and striving for superiority is important for normal , health striving for growth. This does not mean competing with any one. Feeling of inferiority and inferiority complex are not the same. it is using the feeling of inferiority as an excuse . We begin with self acceptance and continue to move forward in our own way with out competing with anyone .
  • We are equal but not the same. Don't confuse being different with good and bad, superior or inferior. Whatever differences we have , we are equal.
  • Anger - Anger is a tool, a form of communication. We can communicate our thoughts ,ideas and able to be accepted without any need for anger. if we can learn to understand experientially then the anger will disappear automatically.
  • Power struggles are interpersonal relationship traps.
    • when you sense a power struggle, immediately step down. Do not respond with a reaction to the action.
    • Pursue of superiority is not engaging in competition.
  • Separation of tasks -
    • There are three overarching objectives for behavior
      1.Self Reliance
      1. Cooperation with the society
      2. Contribution to others
    • There are 3 categories of tasks to achieve the above .They are called Life tasks .
      1. Tasks of work
      2. Tasks of friendship
      3. Tasks of Love
    • Separation of task - First, one should ask ‘whose task is this?’ Then do the separation of tasks. Calmly delineate up to what point one’s own tasks go, and from what point they become another person’s tasks.And do not intervene in other people’s tasks, or allow even a single person to intervene in one’s own tasks.
    • Separation of tasks is the gateway of interpersonal relationships. It is not the final objective.
  • Horizontal Relationship -If one has been able to build a relationship of equals in the true sense of the term—that is a major lifestyle transformation.
  • Let us look at he people not on the level of acts, but on the level of being . Rejoice their existence with gratitude .
  • There is no such thing as a one hundred per cent person. This is something we should actively acknowledge.
  • Unconditional confidence is a means for making your interpersonal relationship with a person better, and for building a horizontal relationship.
  • Happiness in the feeling of contribution .

Life - A series of moments - Journey 

  • Our lives exist only in moments called now . It is not made up of lines like staying on the conventional tracks
  • It is as if one were dancing ,right now , around and around in each passing instant.
  • you should be on a journey the moment you step out of your home , and all the moments on the way to destination.
  • The goal is not to get to mountain top but claiming up the mountain itself. It does not matter if you reach the mountain top or not.
  • Let’s dance in earnest the moments of the here and now, and live in earnest. Do not look at the past, and do not look at the future. There is no need to compete with anyone, and one has no use for destinations.
  • As long as you are dancing, you will get somewhere.When you have danced here and now in earnest and to the full, that is when the meaning of your life will become clear to you.
  • Life in general has no meaning . The meaning has to be assigned to life by the individual. No one else can .

My Rating -🌟🌟🌟🌟


September 26, 2019

Ten tips for improved relationship - Dean Abbott twitter thread

1. Never play the victim. Realize that your relationships are a product of what you put out, your energy, your behavior, your attitudes. Make sure these are right on your end.

2. Accept that most people do not think what they think of you by accident or because they are evil. This happens less than most people think. People's attitudes toward you are a reflection of the signals you send.

3. Enter all your encounters with a focus on providing value to the other person. Focus on understanding their needs and doing what you can to meet them.

4. Be ruthlessly honest with yourself and engage in lots of self-examination. We are all running off programming we are usually unconscious of, and that has an impact on our relationships.

5. Know your limits. You cannot take care of anyone else totally. You must know what you can and can't do for others. You must know what you are and are not willing to do for others, and you must stay within those limits.

6. Have standards. Decide on very clear limits to to the kind of behavior you will accept in a relationship. Do not compromise on these. Don't be afraid to let a relationship end if the other person refuses to treat you in a way you can accept.

7. Don't try to change others. Instead, focus on your boundaries and what is acceptable to you. Don't, for example, try to get your boyfriend to give up stamp collecting. Decide for yourself whether you want to date a stamp collector.

8. Realize that other people are also broken, lost and miserable. Take that into account when making judgments about them and relationships with them.

9. Remember that it is more important to have integrity than to be liked. Do not compromise on morals or principles. By doing this, you will drive away those who would undermine your integrity and attract those who uphold it.

10. Make growth the point of your relationships. The goal of relationships should not be mere fun or companionship, but mutual aid in becoming something more like the ideal version of ourselves.

His twitter feed

August 16, 2019

Pain vs Gain

Are u a self improvement junkie? This one is for you.

Wondering why you always give up on self help routines after few days?

you are not alone. I myself have these questions too.

One good thing though is I never stopped trying new routines.

So I decided to figure out myself. I observed myself on the next few occasions and got it!

So here is how it goes !

I normally start with a self improvement routine when I am not satisfied with something. For example, a weight loss routine when I thought  I look fat in photographs . 

My resolve to follow the routine quickly fades away almost all the time. I did try to nail the cause. But only managed to find a nice concept to put the blame on -That poor thing is called  'The law of diminishing intends '.

But deep inside I know I am fooling myself. 
These questions keep coming. 
why they did not work ? why do I chicken-out every time?

I went back to books, blogs , tube videos and every place I usually go to pickup ideas. As usual, came out more confused...

So sat back and did another round of introspection...

 Aaha , few routines did stick. like Badminton , Surya Namaskar and meditation... okey!  I looked at the reasons for sticking to them.

 Is it the fun factor? or 
 Is it the sweat that gives the sense of competing well? or
 Better body shape ? or 
 The joy of becoming calmer? 

In fact all of them. So a pattern was emerging. Here is what I found out .
I stick to improvement routines only If I gain something and feedback loops that give near term positive results.

Now.. Round 2 of books, blogs and youtube videos. Finally zeroed in the right word 'Gain Motivation'. 

Let me explain,

I gave up those improvement routines that I took up to avoid pain. I gave up as soon as i felt little better. 

yes!That is right.. on some occasions just a little improvement all that I needed! 

On the contrary, if I am motivated by gain, the positive feedback loops kept me in the game longer.

Ureka!!!! 

It may seem so trivial for you. But this little insight will save you many fruitful years.

More on this later.. 

May 15, 2019

Power of multiplied by zero

Multiplicative systems :Power of Multiply by zero - Mental Model series - 15

“Somebody once said that in looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if you don’t have the first, the other two will kill you. You think about it; it’s true. If you hire somebody without [integrity], you really want them to be dumb and lazy.” - Warren Buffet

Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán from Pexels
Chain is a very good example of multiplicative systems. Let us start with the famous adage 'A chain is no stronger than it's weakest link' . when one link breaks , the entire chain breaks. Taleb calls  multiplicative systems as Fragile systems. Our human body is a fragile system but it has anti-fragile qualities. To learn more , read his book Anti-fragile. Multiplicative systems are governed by the weakest links or break points.

On the other hand we have additive systems . A wire rope is a good example. As you know, even when some of the wire break, it will hold. The outcome of additive systems is the sum of its parts, and the parts is independent. The outcome will not be win or lose , a binary.Instead if you change some parts , remove some parts and add some now and the outcome will be different ( becomes better or worse).  

We see this play out in many ways in life . Some of our life processes are additive systems and some are multiplicative.  Let us take your career for example. You seems to think you have ticked all the boxes: great resume, great background, great experience… but the problem is that you  suck at dealing with other people and treat others like stepping stones. That’s a zero that can negate all of the big numbers preceding it.  Get it?? 

Let us take another example from the book "Why nations fail" by Daron Acemoglu and James A. Robinson

In this book , Authors examine the factors could be responsible for determining countries success and failure.They argue the factors such as geographic, climate, culture, religion, political leader are either insufficient or defective in explaining it.

According to them, economic prosperity depends above all is whether the economic and political system is inclusive or extractive one.

Inclusive system, is a additive one, there is a lot of path to prosper, and you can compete freely.

and Extractive system, is an multiplicative one. there is few path to prosper, once you are there you need to keep other from stealing your position.

So understanding whether you are in an additive system or multiplicative system , then which components need absolute reliability for the system to work, is a critical model to have in your mind.

Footnote -
What are Mental Models ?
“It’s your mind’s toolbox for making decisions. The more tools you have, the more equipped you are to make good decisions. “
A mental model is an explanation of how something works. It is a concept, framework, or worldview that you carry around in your mind to help you interpret the world and understand the relationship between things. Mental models are deeply held beliefs about how the world works. 
For More , read Mental Models - Introduction

May 8, 2019

Compounding

Compounding - Mental model series - 14 

"Play iterated games. All the returns in life, whether in wealth, relationships, or knowledge, come from compound interest. "-Naval Ravikant
"Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. He who understands it, earns it … he who doesn’t … pays it. "— Albert Einstein

Compounding is when your interest earns interest.
It is a mathematical representation of positive feedback. 
It is the growth on your previous growth. 

Compounding plays out over the long term. In the short term, the incremental gains can be hard to notice.Also compounding applies to so much more than just your investments and credit cards.

Imagine a small, 3 inch snowball rolling across the snow. The small snowball picks up snow slowly (interest) with each roll. The snowball grows to 2x, 3x, 4x… The newly collected snow (interest) allows the snowball to pick up even more snow as it moves across the snow.

Now, imagine this snowball is your knowledge of a particular subject or your relationship with a close friend or your blog’s audience. Make small investments in these areas and watch your growth compound.

Consider James Altucher's 1 percent rule -

Improve a little each day. It compounds. When 1% compounds every day, it doubles every 72 days, not every 100   days. Compounding tiny excellence is what creates big excellence.

Charlie Munger  has spoken about this effect many a times -

  “I constantly see people rise in life who are not the smartest, sometimes not even the most diligent, but they are learning machines. They go to bed every night a little wiser than they were when they got up and boy does that help, particularly when you have a long run ahead of you.” - Charlie Munger USC Law Commencement Speech, May 2007

But a word of caution - one must be very careful on what are you compounding on ,
If you focus on wrong thing , compounding can be very expensive.
Then how to apply this mental model ?
Answer : Your compound baseIdentify carefully
    • What do you want to compound?
Jeff Bezo,Amazon CEO, Hintst on how to do compounding correct: focus on what will not change.

"I very frequently get the question: ‘What’s going to change in the next 10 years?’ And that is a very interesting question; it’s a very common one. I almost never get the question: ‘What’s not going to change in the next 10 years?’ And I submit to you that that second question is actually the more important of the two — because you can build a business strategy around the things that are stable in time. … [I]n our retail business, we know that customers want low prices, and I know that’s going to be true 10 years from now. They want fast delivery; they want vast selection. It’s impossible to imagine a future 10 years from now where a customer comes up and says, ‘Jeff I love Amazon; I just wish the prices were a little higher,’ [or] ‘I love Amazon; I just wish you’d deliver a little more slowly.’ Impossible. And so the effort we put into those things, spinning those things up, we know the energy we put into it today will still be paying off dividends for our customers 10 years from now. When you have something that you know is true, even over the long term, you can afford to put a lot of energy into it. - Jeff Bezo
    • Is it compoundable?- Make sure this is something compoundable and useful in the long run.
    • Make sure your it has solid base - Don't bet on sand castles.For example -Expiring information is not knowledge. It won’t be relevant in a month or a year.Focus on accumulating knowledge that will be as useful ten years from now as it is today.Remember First principles ?
    • How does it compound ? by time or in turn?      Business compounds when a transaction happens, and your bank account only compounds with time.
Ok, Let us conclude with some words of wizardry ,

Warren Buffet explains why stock market out performs bonds by attributing to compound interest -

"It was that simple. It wasn’t even news. People certainly knew that companies were not paying out 100% of their earnings. But investors hadn’t thought through the implications of the point. Here, though, was this guy Smith saying, “Why do stocks typically outperform bonds? A major reason is that businesses retain earnings, with these going on to generate still more earnings–and dividends, too.”


Footnote -
What are Mental Models ?
“It’s your mind’s toolbox for making decisions. The more tools you have, the more equipped you are to make good decisions. “
A mental model is an explanation of how something works. It is a concept, framework, or worldview that you carry around in your mind to help you interpret the world and understand the relationship between things. Mental models are deeply held beliefs about how the world works. 
For More , read Mental Models - Introduction

Stochastic Processes

Stochastic Processes - Mental Model Series -13


So much of life, it seems to me, is determined by pure randomness. Sidney Poitier


Photo by Pop & Zebra on Unsplash

Stochastic” means random, so we can call simply a “stochastic process”  as a random process.In the real word, uncertainty is a part of everyday life.Stochastic process helps us to understand them mathematically . As a process,it contains a wide variety of processes within itself in which the movement of an individual variable can be impossible to predict but can be thought through probabilistically only.

Movement of Exchange rates, Stock prices are good examples of stochastic processes. As we know , it’s not possible to predict stock prices on a day-to-day basis, but we can describe the probability of various distributions of their movements over time. Obviously, it is much more likely that the stock market (a stochastic process) will be up or down 1% in a day than up or down 10%, even though we can’t predict what tomorrow will bring.

Some important and simple stochastic processes  which can come handy while thinking in layman terms for you.

Markov Stochastic Process-


Remember :In Markov process,value of a variable does not depend on its historic values.Only the current value of the variable can be taken into account to predict the future values. In other words ,a process satisfies the Markov property if one can make predictions for the future of the process based solely on its present state just as well as one could knowing the process's full history, hence independently from such history(Memory less).

As a result, future predictions are expressed in probability distributions. Also , a variable might follow normal or log normal probability distribution.

It is important to understand that each probability distribution has a mean and variance where the mean is the average value and variance is the dispersion of values from its mean.

Mean is also known as return and variance is known as risk as it adds uncertainty in your variable’s values.

Consider the following example -

Imagine that there are two possible states for weather: sunny or cloudy. You can always directly observe the current weather state, and it is guaranteed to always be one of the two aforementioned states.

Now, you decide you want to be able to predict what the weather will be like tomorrow. Intuitively, you assume that there is an inherent transition in this process, in that the current weather has some bearing on what the next day’s weather will be. So, being the dedicated person that you are, you collect weather data over several years, and calculate that the chance of a sunny day occurring after a cloudy day is 0.25. You also note that, by extension, the chance of a cloudy day occurring after a cloudy day must be 0.75, since there are only two possible states.
You can now use this distribution to predict weather for days to come, based on what the current weather state is at the time.


Random walk -


The random walk theory is the occurrence of an event determined by a series of random movements - in other words, events that cannot be predicted. For example, one might consider a drunken person's path of walking to be a random walk because the person is impaired and his walk would not follow any predictable path.

The random walk theory as applied to stock trading,  the price of securities moves randomly (hence the name of the theory).Therefore, any attempt to predict future price movement, either through fundamental or technical analysis, is futile.So Stock traders is that it is impossible to outperform the overall market average other than by sheer chance. Those who subscribe to the random walk theory recommend using a “buy and hold” strategy.

Poisson process -

The Poisson process is one of the most widely-used counting processes. It is normally  used in scenarios where we are counting the occurrences of certain events that appear to happen at a certain rate, but completely at random (without a certain structure).

For example, suppose we know that earthquakes occur in a certain area with a rate of 2 per month from historical data. Other than this information, the timings of earthquakes seem to be completely random. In this scenario ,e Poisson process might be a good model for earthquakes.

 In practice, the Poisson process or its extensions have been used to model ,
− the number of car accidents at a site or in an area;
− the location of users in a wireless network;
− the requests for individual documents on a web server;
− the outbreak of wars;


At a higher level ,there are two ways to classify a stochastic process:

Discrete: When changes in value of a variable are at fixed points in time. Only certain values can be chosen for a discrete variable.
Continuous: When changes in value of a variable are continuous. Value of a continuous variable can take any value within a certain range.



Footnote -
What are Mental Models ?
“It’s your mind’s toolbox for making decisions. The more tools you have, the more equipped you are to make good decisions. “
A mental model is an explanation of how something works. It is a concept, framework, or worldview that you carry around in your mind to help you interpret the world and understand the relationship between things. Mental models are deeply held beliefs about how the world works. 
For More , read https://jamesclear.com/feynman-mental-models  

May 7, 2019

Randomness

Randomness - Mental Model Series - 12 

“Remember that nobody accepts randomness in his own success, only his failure.”- NN Taleb


  Ramdomness is the absence of patterns and predictability in events. But please note that
Individual random events are by definition unpredictable, but in many cases the frequency of different outcomes over a large number of events (or "trials") is predictable.

Randomness influence our personal and professional lives more than we realize. We normally forget many of those who fail and remember only the few who succeed. We then create reasons and patterns for their successes even though they are largely random . This is called by fooled-by -randomness effect . Nassim Taleb's book on this very subject is a classic and must read.

In his book , there are couple of quotes that stuck with my mind

  • The only aspect of your life that fortune does not have control over is your behavior.
  • Repetitiveness is key for determining if you are seeing skill or randomness at play. Can't repeat it? Not skillful.

He goes onto say something very important about probability too..
"Probability is not a mere computation of odds on the dice or more complicated variants; it is the acceptance of the lack of certainty in our knowledge and the development of methods for dealing with our ignorance. Outside of textbooks and casinos, probability almost never presents itself as a mathematical problem or a brain teaser. Mother nature does not tell you how many holes there are on the roulette table , nor does she deliver problems in a textbook way (in the real world one has to guess the problem more than the solution)."

Footnote -
What are Mental Models ?
“It’s your mind’s toolbox for making decisions. The more tools you have, the more equipped you are to make good decisions. “
A mental model is an explanation of how something works. It is a concept, framework, or worldview that you carry around in your mind to help you interpret the world and understand the relationship between things. Mental models are deeply held beliefs about how the world works. 
For More , read https://jamesclear.com/feynman-mental-models  

April 11, 2019

Algebraic Equivalence

Algebraic Equivalence - Mental Model Series - 11

“It's only in Algebra that two negatives make a positive” ― Charmaine J Forde

Algebraic equivalence teaches us that two things need not be the same in order to be equal. Let us spend time on understanding this term how it can be relevant and useful to decision making

Firstly ,Equivalent expressions are essentially just different expressions that will yield the same answer. For example:
10 + 10 = 20
5 x 4 = 20
40/2 = 20

If you apply symbols to these numbers on the left side and pretend that we don't them , this is how those expressions will look like ,
 x+ x =  20, in other words  2X =20
 Y x4   =20  , in other words  4Y  = 20
 Z/2 =20

So the value of 20 can be deduced by

2X or 4Y or Z/2

Also these symbols are used to represent unknown numbers that can be solved for given other relevant information(20). The general point about algebraic equivalence is that it teaches us that two things need not be the same in order to be equal.

Equivalent equations in daily life:

 It's particularly helpful when shopping. For example, you like a particular shirt. One company offers the shirt for $6 and has $12 shipping, while another company offers the shirt for $7.50 and has $9 shipping. Which shirt has the best price? How many shirts (maybe you want to get them for friends) would you have to buy for the price to be the same for both companies?

To solve this problem, let "x" be the number of shirts. To start with, set x =1 for the purchase of one shirt.

For company #1:

Price = 6x + 12 = (6)(1) + 12 = 6 + 12 = $18

For company #2:

Price = 7.5x + 9 = (1)(7.5) + 9 = 7.5 + 9 = $16.5

So, if you're buying one shirt, the second company offers a better deal.

To find the point where prices are equal, let "x" remain the number of shirts, but set the two equations equal to each other. Solve for "x" to find how many shirts you'd have to buy:

6x + 12 = 7.5x + 9

6x - 7.5x = 9 - 12 (subtracting the same numbers or expressions from each side)

-1.5x = -3

1.5x = 3 (dividing both sides by the same number, -1)

x = 3/1.5 (dividing both sides by 1.5)

x = 2

If you buy two shirts, the price is the same, no matter where you get it. You can use the same math to determine which company gives you a better deal with larger orders and also to calculate how much you'll save using one company over another.

Let me quote another excellent example from Farnam street blog on this topic :
In a deeper way, algebraic equivalence helps us deal with one accusation that all parents get at one time or another: “You love my sibling more than me.” It’s not true, but our default usually is to say, “No, I love you both the same.” This can be confusing for children, because, after all, they are not the same as their sibling, and you likely interact with them differently, so how can the love be the same?
Using algebraic equivalence as a model shifts it. You can respond instead that you love them both equally. Even though what’s on either side of the equation is different, it is equal. Swinging the younger child up in the air is equivalent to asking the older one about her school project. Appreciating one’s sense of humor is equivalent to respecting the other’s organizational abilities. They may be different, but the love is equal.

Footnote -
What are Mental Models ?
“It’s your mind’s toolbox for making decisions. The more tools you have, the more equipped you are to make good decisions. “
A mental model is an explanation of how something works. It is a concept, framework, or worldview that you carry around in your mind to help you interpret the world and understand the relationship between things. Mental models are deeply held beliefs about how the world works. 
For More , read https://jamesclear.com/feynman-mental-models  

April 8, 2019

Permutations and Combinations

Permutations and Combinations- Mental Model Series -10


“Life is full of permutations and combinations. Sometimes the order you do things matter sometimes it doesn’t, but in order to find the solution in life you must work through each possibility presented to find your opportunity.”   ― Gregory Willis, Birth of a Nephillim

Photo by Tom Fisk from Pexels
 Yes . We studied permutations and combinations in school. Though we vaguely remember about permutations and combinations  but the difference between them is bit of haze now.

Lets refresh our memory on those topics. Shall we ? .

First, the primary difference - Permutations are for lists where order matters whereas Combinations are for groups where order does not matter. Another easy hack to remember , Permutation is complicated but Combination is not.

This is not it Another one to remember well - A combination lock should really be called as "permutation lock" because a correct entry 7-9-2 is not same as 2-9-7 or 9-7-2 . The order matters.  Get it. Now let us each of these terms little closely

Permutation-

It is an arrangement of a group of objects where the order does matter.Lets consider an example of awarding Gold ,Silver and and bronze medals to a group of 8 people listed here .

A: Albert
B: Brown
C: Chris
D: Dave
E: Emma
F: Freddie
G: George
H: Haron

 since the order we hand out these medals matters, We’re going to use permutations. Here’s how it breaks down:

Gold medal: 8 choices: A B C D E F G H  Let’s say A wins the Gold.
Silver medal: 7 choices: B C D E F G H. Let’s say B wins the silver.
Bronze medal: 6 choices: C D E F G H. Let’s say… C wins the bronze.

We picked certain people to win, but the details don’t matter: we had 8 choices at first, then 7, then 6. The total number of options was 8 * 7 * 6 = 336.

Combinations :


Combination is a way of selecting some items from a collection. Like we have some items, in how many ways we can choose a few items (a fixed number) from them is called combination. For example, suppose we have three letter: a,b,c. We want to choose two letter from these three. So we can choose a,b or a,c or b,c i.e we can choose two letter in three ways. No. of ways to choose = 3. It’s the combination. In how many ways we can choose r things from a total of n things, is known as the combination and expressed as nCr. For our example 3C2 = 3.

Key Differences Between Permutation and Combination-

  1. The term permutation refers to several ways of arranging a set of objects in a sequential order. Combination implies several ways of choosing items from a large pool of objects, such that their order is irrelevant.
  2. The primary distinguishing point between these two mathematical concepts is order, placement, and position, i.e. in permutation characteristics mentioned above does matter, which does not matter in the case of the combination.
  3. Permutation denotes several ways to arrange things, people, digits, alphabets, colours, etc. On the other hand, combination indicates different ways of selecting menu items, food, clothes, subjects, etc.
  4. The permutation is nothing but an ordered combination while Combination implies unordered sets or pairing of values within specific criteria.
  5. Many permutations can be derived from a single combination. Conversely, only a single combination can be obtained from a single permutation.
  6. Permutation answers How many different arrangements can be created from a given set of objects? As opposed to the combination which explains How many different groups can be picked from a larger group of objects?


For more understanding  and how the formula arrived for both Permutation and combination , Please  refer to http://scaryscientist.blogspot.com/2015/03/permutations-and-combinations.html

Hanlon's Razor - Mental Model series -9

"Never assume malice when stupidity will suffice.
Never assume stupidity when ignorance will suffice.
Never assume ignorance when forgivable error will suffice.
Never assume error when information you hadn’t adequately accounted for will suffice."


Photo by Bekka Mongeau from Pexels
When something bad happens to us, as egocentric humans we have a tendency to quickly judge that it was the result of malice - of some bad intent. For example, if someone failed to pick up a call , you normally jump into a conclusion that he/she does not respect you . A delayed input from your subordinate make you see him conspiring against your success .  But  How often you later found out that it was not really the case. People’s behavior, most of the time, has little to do with us. It is us who construct unhealthy and unhelpful narratives in our head.

By definition, Hanlon's Razor is "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity".

Hanlon’s Razor is warning us to be careful when assuming bad intent, because it’s much less likely that we tend to imagine! The world is much better place than we think.

Applying this in our day-to-day lives, allows us to better develop relationships, become less judgmental, and improves rationality. Hanlon’s razor allows us to give people the benefit of the doubt and have more empathy. In this way, the value of Hanlon’s razor is pronounced in relationships and business matters.

Like any other model , this also has its own limitations , it serves us well when we use this one along with other mental models to arrive at a better decision. For example

 Though very simple , this principle makes  us look at the world with a positive perspective. I leave you with this probing question - What if those people around you are also good-natured just like you? . Think!!

Footnote -
What are Mental Models ?
“It’s your mind’s toolbox for making decisions. The more tools you have, the more equipped you are to make good decisions. “
A mental model is an explanation of how something works. It is a concept, framework, or worldview that you carry around in your mind to help you interpret the world and understand the relationship between things. Mental models are deeply held beliefs about how the world works. 

For More , read https://jamesclear.com/feynman-mental-models  

April 4, 2019

Occam's Razor - Mental Model Series -8

“Nature is pleased with simplicity, and affects not the pomp of superfluous causes”  - Newton



Photo by Stephen H on Unsplash


We often forget what wise men say about simplicity -other things being equal, simpler theories are better. In other words ,when presented with competing hypothetical answers to a problem, one should select the one that makes the fewest assumptions.

 However, Occam's razor only applies when the simple explanation and complex explanation both work equally well. If a more complex explanation does a better job than a simpler one, then you should use the complex explanation.

For our convenience sake, let us tray to define what is Occam's Razor

When presented  with competing  hypothetical answers to a problem, one should select  that makes fewest assumptions.

Here is a real life example of how we applied this principle . My wife had to decide between two offers of employment towards end of her contract at that time. From the beginning ,She was very clear on her priorities . Both offers provided same work- life balance and same customer location and  in terms of monetary benefits , both offers are almost equal. But one offer came from current vendor  and another from another vendor both are for the same client. We have gone for the current vendor as we had to make less assumptions. Since work life balance is her first priority and she is familiar with working conditions and expectations at the work place.

If you take medicine for example , when many explanations are possible for symptoms, the simplest diagnosis is to be tested first . Let' say a child comes with a runny nose , it probably has the common cold than a rare birth defect . I hope you get it now .

A philosophical tool as simple as often very easy to be misused . So please remember the following -

  1. This law of simplicity is only applicable when all explanations in question are equally well.
  2. Simple and simplistic are not exactly the same. 


Footnote -
What are Mental Models ?
“It’s your mind’s toolbox for making decisions. The more tools you have, the more equipped you are to make good decisions. “
A mental model is an explanation of how something works. It is a concept, framework, or worldview that you carry around in your mind to help you interpret the world and understand the relationship between things. Mental models are deeply held beliefs about how the world works. 

For More , read https://jamesclear.com/feynman-mental-models