How are you feeling now?
Ask this question to your kids often.Ask when she/he is happy after a good grade.
Ask when she is a bit down when her close friend is leaving the school.
Ask when she looks bored; irritated ; elated ; upset; or agitated.
But don't start with your sermon after that.Just leave it there with a gentle inquiry.
Idea is to make her aware of her emotions.
By being emotionally aware , she could handle her communications, interpersonal relationships and profession lot better later on in her life .
Else she is going to learn this skill in a hard way anyway.
Even after learning all the skills in this world to survive, she will find this the missing piece in her life puzzle for a happy life.
We don't teach our kids this stuff at home or at school!Even we where not taught!
So ask this is question - How are you feeling now ?
She may answer with her judgments instead of naming the feeling,like ' I feel insulted' . Well, this is judgement. This is not same as 'I feel sad'. Point out the difference and ask her stick to name her feeling.
She may struggle at first. So help her with the vocabulary of feelings. Let her start understanding the subtle differences of those words and start using them .
Rollo May puts clearly as “the mature person becomes able to differentiate feelings into as many nuances, strong and passionate experiences, or delicate and sensitive ones as in the different passages of music in a symphony.” For many of us, however, our feelings are, as May would describe it, “limited like notes in a bugle call.”
If you yourself need to educate on this, Please go ahead and start. Teaching others is the best way to learn.
you will see how your personal and professional world transform, how your communication improves . This awareness will lead to you empathy and then compassion which are among the rarest now a days.
So Ask this question - how are you feeling now?
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